Indeed. I've decided to be happy. Even though not everything is perfect. There is ALWAYS a negative and positive side of things. I've spent a life pretty much in hell till I literally run away to the other side of the world and couldn't believe there is such a thing as happiness, beauty and appreciation. But what I also realised is that you can not run away from your problems, even when it might not have been your fault and your escaped the place, it's still inside of you. Back then I even got a bad conscience everytime a tiny moment of joy stroked me, imagine, sick isn't it. So I've been working on what life has destroyed for me.Wasn't much left and it took me some time to cure my soul . But I got over it. I've forgiven and found peace with the past. Of course I still have days full of sorrow, doubts, insecurities, downs, confusion and pain from time to time. That's normal. That's part of the deal. But I no longer let it rule over my life. They just sneak in and happen occasionally and if they see they have no chance to stay forever, they disappear eventually.
There are moments in life that make you
there are moments in life that break you
there are moments in life that influence you
there are moments in life that change you
there are moments in life that challenge you
there are moments in life that inspire you
there are moments in life that crush you
and there are moments in life that destroy you
there are moments in life of total peace and
there are moments in life of total chaos.
Yin and Yang
nothing is permanent, everything is temporary.
And what I also learned is not to let your wounds turn you into someone you are not. That's a very important aspect I think. Now there are people they see me smiling and assume I must have no idea about life nor hard times because I seem to be happy all the time. And they look at you as only they know the true life. Now exactly those people still have to learn a lot and didn't get what life is about. It's not about sitting there, pulling a face and drowning in misery and self-pitty and envy the luck of others. And it's certainly not about thinking of having the right to speak to me this way. If I'm happy and you're not, it's not my fault. It's probably just because it hurts to see someone happy. Though when I'm sad and see somebody happy, I'm still happy for this person but that's probably just a character thing. Anyway Jeez, you're the only one responsible for your own luck! It's about making the most out of it, the best out of it, looking at the bright side, it's already hard enough, make it better, easier for you, enjoy. Every one will die one day but then why not die happy or at least die trying?