27 December 2010

I got a new camera for Christmas. HAPPY!!!! I haven't had one for over a year now. Horrific. So many precious, unique moments and I couldn't capture them. This is over now. Here are some pics I've taken in Bristol and Bath over the last few days.  



26 December 2010

YeP, in two days time I'll be on my way from London to Inverness.
By the bus for 15 quid. It's gonna take me 13 hours.
I'm gonna spend New Year's Eve in Scotland.
With a great friend.

And before that I'll be seeing my best sweetness Laura on Tuesday.
She's in London for 3 days.

THESE are things I'm so looking forward to. It's abnormal. 
And the best thing is, it's extremely within my reach.    

25 December 2010

“The joy of brightening other lives, bearing each others’ burdens, easing others’ loads and supplanting empty hearts and lives with generous gifts becomes the magic of life.”

I do it all the time. I kinda feel its my duty, my mission. And I don't expect anything in return. But let it say it that way. I need love too.

There was this Bansky Gallery Q from 12 Nov- 24 Dec in Bristol. I had no clue. I was wandering around in Stokes Croft, talking about Banksy and suddenly I saw this sign telling me Enter Here! Snap!    

"In the summer of 2009, more than 300 000 people queued to see the Banksy vs Bristol Museum exhibition. They waited in all weathers for up to four hours to get in. The People's Republic of Stokes Croft saw the queue as possibly Banksy's greatest work of art and asked the queuers to 'express themselves' on specially made cards. They lost a lot of pens and a lot of cards, but in the end managed to collect about 3500 artworks. Katy Bauer, who conceived and ran the project, also filmed and took snapshots. THE BANKSY Q is a show of those who queued and all of their drawings."

I was planning to go to the Bansky exhibition last summer. I couldn't make it by no means. Otherwise I might have been in the gallery or in the book now..................

24 December 2010

I get my prezzies today! It's only an english tradition to get them on the 25th which I think it's stupid haha.

It's my name day today. Adam and Eva. In Poland you don't celebrate birthdays. You celebrate name days. Happy name day for me then.

You know its time to keep it simple
Lets take a chance and hope for the best
   Life is short, so make it what you wanna
I climbed days on the history
I had a change of philosophy
I take these days as it comes to me
And I won’t take myself off that seriously
Take off your shoes, lay back, and take a load off
Give me your blues, let me love it away
Nothing to lose, so don’t act like such a grownup
the best thing about you is me
don't say no, c'mon just say yes

23 December 2010

We're all people in progress

Life is the culmination of all the layers we add onto each other, stacking them high until just the remnants from the bottom-most layer shines through.  These are frozen layers of trees on more frozen layers of trees on more frozen layers of willow branches, and the light still shines through

And this is how Christmas markets look in Germany

22 December 2010

"Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can." - J Wesley

A piece of home.
My dad came to visit me over Christmas. German and polish home-made food  and sweets.
plus Heavenly magic winter punch almond aromatic fruity tea

There is a house built out of stone
Wooden floors, walls and window sills
Tables and chairs worn by all of the dust
This is a place where I don´t feel alone
This is a place where I feel at home
Cause, I built a home
for you
for me
Out in the garden where we planted the seeds
There is a tree as old as me
Branches were sewn by the color of green
Ground had arose and passed its knees
By the cracks of the skin I climbed to the top
I climbed the tree to see the world
When the gusts came around to blow me down
I held on as tightly as you held onto me
I held on as tightly as you held onto me
Cause, I built a home
for you
for me
And now, it´s time to leave and turn to dust...

21 December 2010

Write about Love. Alright kids, I got a story to tell. Have a listen.

We found each other randomly on MySpace a long time ago. Millions of people and no mutual friends. We agreed it was no coincidence we met as we also both lived in separated countries at this particular time. We became very close friends and spent a very intense time together. We used to chat every day, used to send letters between us, we would share everything. We've been having so much fun together, joy and happiness hey ho. We've got unimaginable things in common, two like-minded souls found together in the wide wild universe, how lucky we are, some people never find one. We've grown a lot together, we've been learning from each other and inspiring each other immensely. He made me what I am today. I'm so thankful and proud his my friend. Without him, I would have killed myself back in August 2009. But suddenly there was this genuine, kind, cute, pretty and positive guy interested in my life when I was about to end it. 
 I've been investing incredibly much patience, consideration, effort, time, understanding, love, heart, sweat and soul for him, my heart would approach piece by piece. I don't know if it was delusion or wishful thinking or whatever but I was pretty sure his heart was moving closer and closer to mine as well or maybe he doesn't want to confess or allow it. Anyway, it took me a life time to find him. That's why I'm so tired of starting again somewhere new. But it seems I will have to pull my heart away otherwise I will ruin everything. Isn't that just unfair? I'm not blaming anybody. This is something pretty much beyond our control. It  still makes my heart squeeze, regardless. I'm sorry. I'd wish it wouldn't. 

Genuine love is passionate and filled with conscious communication and creative contribution. Love is always patient and kind, it is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited, it is never rude or selfish, it does not take offense, and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people’s sins but delights in the truth, it is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes. Love does not come to an end.

This is everything I am, everything I am for you. 

so I will pull myself together, try to move on, to be there for him when he needs me as a friend.
our friendship is too precious and too special to ever let go.
End of Line.    

20 December 2010

We didn’t talk about anything heavy or light. We were just there, together. And that was enough.
— The Perks of Being a Wallflower

I'm back in Bristol. I've spent a super lovely time in Market Rasen with Ben. I really enjoyed it. I felt at ease, it felt right. My birthday was great as well. J├Ągermeister Fanta, German beer, Tea shop, Tron 3D and this amazing Cafe in Lincoln, one of the best in Europe, with sheets of music on the walls and secrets written on postcards. My secret is well good. hehe. Finally seen the forest again, fed ducks, seen the weirdest sheep who are pooing simultaneously, some damn cool trials and other pretty things you can find in the wild. I could have easily stayed longer. It was well good. Thank you for all the effort and all the love.
My return journey wasn't that pleasant at all. I was pretty much on the way to freeze to death. The connecting bus from Birmingham to Bristol wouldnt show up. For 14 hours! I was left alone in the cold, luckily there was another guy in the same situation, so we stuck together. The cold was cruel. It was literally killing us in a slowly way. As if every cell would die off gradually. I can't actually describe it. Fact is, my skin turned blue and purple, I lost feelings in my legs and arms, I couldn't walk properly, it hurt like hell.  I could burn my skin without feeling any pain, the frost in my face made my lips burst bleeding. That was the worst nightmare I've ever experienced. As I arrived in Bristol eventually after all this hours, I couldn't believe to be alive. I've never ever been so thankful for a hot shower in my entire life as in this very moment. I almost cry.          

I will have to pull my heart away


14 December 2010

WOW! Skateistan, about skateboarders in Afghanistan.
Awfully good!

SKATEISTAN: TO LIVE AND SKATE KABUL from Diesel New Voices on Vimeo.

Going away for my birthday. Spending some nice time with Benji, the forest and the snow. Wagga wagga!
Oh and screaming, broken glass, objects in the air, dogs going crazy and dangerous, people fighting and at the end kicked out the house and landing on the street. What a saturday night, it started so peaceful.  

13 December 2010

Oh dear. All the turmoil when it comes to love makes me mad. I'm a passionate, high-spirited little thing and it doesn't happen often but it seems everytime it hits me, it hits me thousand times more than less emotional people.Or maybe this is an explanation:

"The truly creative mind in any field is no more than this: A human creature born abnormally, inhumanly sensitive. To him a touch is a blow, a sound is a noise, a misfortune is a tragedy, a joy is an ecstasy, a friend is a lover, a lover is a god, and failure is death. Add to this cruelly delicate organism the overpowering necessity to create, create, create -- so that without the creating of music or poetry or books or buildings or something of meaning, his very breath is cut off from him. He must create, must pour out creation. By some strange, unknown, inward urgency he is not really alive unless he is creating."
Pearl S. Buck

10 December 2010

Basically, I just wish everyone to be happy. Imagine if everybody would be utterly happy and completely in peace with himself and one with our nature, what the world would be like. Only tears of joy, respect, appreciation, good naturedness, pure love, pure hearts. Yeah, that's my wish. If everyone would be happy, nobody would hurt me and nobody would hurt you. Because nobody would have any reason to do so. Most people hurting others only derives from jealousy, hatred, stupidness, indifference, fear and so on. Most people are very unhappy with themselves and need to project their misery on other people by hurting them in order to feel better, to feel they have still power, they're worth something. This is so wrong. Or maybe they just bored. Then I wish everyone a happy and excited life full of loving and caring, motivation, growing and candy explosions. Thanks.   

The other thing is amazing because strangely enough, every guy I fancy is not interested in me. They all rather seem to run away from me. And everybodyelse, I don't fancy, wants to hook up with me. Sigh. A friend once told me, I'm like a danger zone. Everyone feels attractive to me but most of them are afraid of getting burned. Oh dear. What else can I do than hope and live on?

 'Not knowing whether to wait or to forget is the worst kind of suffering'


8 December 2010

Summertime and the livin' is easy
fish are jumpin' and the cotton is high
one of these mornings you're goin' rise up singing
then you'll spread your wings and you'll take the sky

Yesterday night was epic. Actually the first real night I got fairly wasted since freshers week. Haaaaaaangingggggggg. Didn't know  one pound pizza could taste like plastic. Actually that was by far the most terrible experience I've ever had haha. Oh and I've got this massive scratch over my entire left bum cheek. Wondering where that comes from. Anyway, all exams done. Term 1 finished. Holidays! And so many  sweet plans already. It's gonna be purely enjoyable. 

7 December 2010

yeah. hi. how's it going. long time no see. I spent too much time on my assignments. I had to make a night of it and worked on them until 5.30 last morning haha. Music Business, Project Portfolio and music-based CV. Things I've never done before in english. 3 hours sleep and then handed them in at my college. Phewww last  assessment today!!! One month off. Awesome.
Whatelse. Me thinking. Obviously some things happened since my last blog, hmmmm. Can't think cause I just wanna dance right now. bye my lovers. End of Term gig calls woop woop!!

1 December 2010

Childlike joy.
Childlike heart.

Fear is a manipulative emotion that can trick us
 into living a boring life
Donald Miller