28 February 2011

I've got this picture on my Desktop at the moment.
Makes me feel calm.

Oh Yeah Baby
this song mmmmmmmm
Would love to run through those landscapes right now

26 February 2011

"Life is short. Kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly."- Paulo Coelho

This is one of the songs I'm going to perform on Tuesday. Luckily not at 9.00 o'clock in the morning again like last time but around 11am onwards. This is good, very good.

Oh and yeah haha! Dave Grohl left a message for us BIMM students. You can tell he was being forced to do that and he ain't got a clue what BIMM actually is but bless him for doing it anyway :) thanks Dave, you're a truly legend, love you woohoo!

24 February 2011

"Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak. Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen."
Winston Churchill

22 February 2011

I just need someone who puts his arm supertight around me and says, everything's gonna be fine, I'll take care of it. That would change a lot.

Otherwise, pretty long, very long day. Recording in the studio and rehearsal for my audition was fun though. Love this lifestyle. And funnily enough, as exhausting as it was for me, especially in my condition, I feel "refreshed" by the feeling of having done something productive and things moving forward.

| Artists Wanted | In Focus : Pete Eckert from Artists Wanted on Vimeo.

Pete Eckert is a blind visual artist from California. He uses sound, touch, and memory to create photographs that build a bridge between the blind and sighted world. Fascinating.

21 February 2011


I really want to go outside and make it light all day
I think it's good to go out
cause if you don't you'll never make a memory that will stay

go outside from Keegan Gibbs on Vimeo.

Yeah this song is about going outside. If I have one of those days and I just feel like staying at home and hiding away, I'm always telling myself, hey. Nothing will happen to you if you stay at home. Exactly, you will not make a memory that will stay. If you want something to change, something to see or to experience, you must go outside and live it! It will not come into your room by its own.

"A true friend freely, advises justly, assists readily, adventures boldly, takes all patiently, defends courageously, and continues a friend unchangeably." William Penn

20 February 2011

Friendship is one mind in two bodies

U Know what?! Ur the Best Mother fucking Friend on Earth! Really! I Love you with my heart, my Soul, my Body! Can't believe how cute u are! When i Read the post on my Wall i was so pissed, but just a Second later i Read Ur reaction and it really really made me smile! Ur like a mommy Lion who protects its Baby! Thanx 4 that hon!
India's a blast! I'm Feeling so good, so relaxed, so confident. The weather's just amazing, i got a tan already, Met cool People, smoked some bang, drank some chai, ate Great Food with my Hands....enjoying my life. U would Love this whole fuckin' Country! Love u hon! Keep in Touch!

Laura sent me the message this morning from India. Absolutely made my day! Made my heart jump like a Ninja. Love her to bits. She will be travelling the next couple of weeks through India and Nepal and I want to join her. Don't know how but she already said, she wouldn't be surprised if I'd make it. I've been planning to go to India since last year but living in the UK and basically be on the breadline most of the time doesn't make it easy. Let's see. Miracles are called miracles for a reason. And empty pockets never hold me back that easily.

 "When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand."  Henri Nouwen

19 February 2011

This week was a little high after this supermassive black hole. Especially today I feel back to life. A step forward. Productive. Miracles. Not like the last three weeks spent in despair. And finally got my keyboard through and wrote a song straight away, maybe that's why. It's called " Not in Love hey! " and I think it's cool. I love the new raw sound and the new single 'White Limo' by the Foo Fighters, but to be honest I can't wait for this one.   

17 February 2011

‎"As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn't leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I'd still be in prison." - Nelson Mandela

Yesterday my friend Aga told me the following which made me realise a lot again:
I've spoken to my Yoga teacher recently and I've started to moan a little bit, that I'm often torn, back and forth and I have the feeling not to know where I belong to, who I am, what I am and so on. And she answered totally relaxed:  " but thats wonderful, isn't it. Yin and Yang in a marked form, it's supposed to be like that, only black AND white yield an entity. You shouldn't try to dip everything into grey but consciously experience the extremes, the white in the black and the black in the white. Where is the problem???" Ha, that's so good!

And my friend also reminded me of that:

You have everything what you need. In yourself! Nowhere else.You have everything. It's in you.

15 February 2011

"Sometimes it's sad to be an exception,
but it's even sadder to be none. "
Peter Altenberg

14 February 2011

I just came across this blog; Jamie I love you for that, your words are supermagical, utterly effective as well as affective. You exactly expressed what I was trying to find. You simply hit the mark, you hit me, you got to the heart of it. I think nobody could have explained it better than you did. no one. ever. 
thanks. no really just thanks.  

Dear Valentine's Day,

My friend Don wrote a blog about you today and his blog suggests that you used to look a lot different than you do today. He says that you are the product of a poet and that before this poet's pen, you were not a romantic holiday.

i think i would have liked you more back then, whenever that was. The truth is that you really bother me now. i think you bother a lot of people, honestly. i'm not sure how you got so much power. You show up every year right after Christmas. You turn the windows pink and you sell your diamonds on the radio and i think i've gotten five emails from 1-800-FLOWERS in the last three days.

Don't get me wrong. It's not that i don't like love. i love love - i think it's the best thing that happens on the planet. It's the biggest dream inside me. But i bought a lie somewhere along the way. i bought the lie that says i'm not alive if i'm not in love. i bought the lie that says if i love someone but then they stop loving me or they start loving someone else, then i must have no value or power or worth. i bought the lie that says if i'm not in love, then i'm as good as dead.

And if you believe that lie long enough, it makes a giant hole. It makes a hole so big that no one person could ever begin to fill it. Not even a princess. Believe me, i've tried. To fill it with a person, to fill it with beauty, to fill it with all the things you sell.

But i don't think it works that way. Bono says his songs come from a God-shaped hole inside of him. He's my favorite singer and he has a lot of things. He has great stories and a wife and kids and plenty of money. But in spite of all of those things, he says he still has this hole and he says that it's the reason that he sings.

i've been thinking lately that maybe i've confused a girl for God, a different one every year or two, since the first day of junior high. And man, that is a lot of pressure to put on someone, to make them God. That is a ton of power to hand to someone. Especially when they're just a person. A person with questions and flaws and pain of their own.

So maybe there's a war, inside of me and for me and maybe my heart is the opposite of small. Maybe it's the opposite of cheap and empty and alone. Maybe it's sacred and enormous and wild.

To make a long story short, i think i've given you way too much power. i let you scare me and i let you name me and i let you tell me what i'm worth.

i don't want to do that anymore.

There are dreams inside of me and those are mine and my guess is that they're there for a reason. But for all the days like now where the dreams are asked to be only dreams, i'm gonna keep getting out of bed. i'm gonna keep living my story. i'm gonna believe that there is reason and purpose, and power in my life. i'm gonna believe that i'm alive inside a story bigger than my pain, bigger than everything missing.

It crossed my mind to try to ignore you, to try to go to bed early and wake up when you're gone. But i changed my mind. i am part of a gang in Florida and we're gonna get together tonight. We're going to open our computers and we're going to choose to believe that words are powerful. We're gonna do our best to tell someone something true. We're gonna ask people not to give up on their stories.

Valentine's Day, i don't hate you. i don't even blame you. Perhaps you did not name yourself. Perhaps you are the product of hundreds of years, hundreds of thousands of broken people and a million God-shaped holes.

The truth is that we're all living love stories.

Peace to you tonight.
all this time
the sun never says to the earth,

“You owe me.”

what happens
with a love like that–

it lights
the whole world.

– Hafiz

I'm gonna have one of these gypsy wagons, I will.

13 February 2011

Keyboard vs. Food

Keyboard of course!! Finally! Well £5 left till the 23rd but at least I can practise Sight Reading and Theory properly and writing new songs now, WIN!  

Finding yourself weighing the pursuit of your heart's desire against the cost of fulfilling it.YeP, exactly!

explored I have a Gemini ascendent and this explains it:  
 You spend lots of time asking questions and… answering them. Your curiosity and your quick-wittedness are insatiable. Your mind is in constant turmoil, hopping from one topic to another, solving problems, accumulating anecdotes and knowledge within a short range of time. Your mobility is mostly mental, it takes you afar and turns your daily life into a mosaic of intense and pleasant moments that are not necessarily related to each other.

Fix me

12 February 2011

I can't describe what the sun is doing to me. Pure magic.
It's like therapy.
Believing is everything
everything is believing
but why on earth is it sometimes so hard to do it

and how can you know the moon is still there if you don't look at it?
and why has nobody been to the moon since 1972?

Yesterday I was in so much pain,
I really considered to go to the A&E.
but today I feel 'better'

11 February 2011

"Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you help them become what they are capable of becoming."
– Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Well what can I say, been to the hospital today and they put me off till next week. again.
I just want it to be over, really really really.
but hold on, there was actually one good thing to remember. As I was running late and calling the hospital, I was put on the waiting line surprisingly with some lovely Beatles songs for 5 minutes. I enjoyed that.

10 February 2011

Those who wish to sing, always find a song.
Swedish Proverb

yeP those songs are where it's at for today
a somebody should find oneself singing it to me

Light & Dark by Bo Aganaba
Words And A Melody by Bo Aganaba
Remember (with Ty Sander) by Bo Aganaba

9 February 2011

Did you know when an infant does not get any body warmth, if it stays untouched for too long, it dies due to the lack of love?
I sometimes feel like one.
breathe me.

8 February 2011

You NEED to watch Zeitgeist
it's mind-blowing, sick, shocking, scary and genius
it tells the bald truth (and answers your questions) about life, society, economy and humanity
don't miss it

Dream with all your heart
Never loose sight of what is really important
but fairy tales can't come true
YOU gotta make them happen, it all depends on you
Learning from Disney Movies

and this is rather cool!

7 February 2011

Healing begins with honesty. And you haven't been honest to me.
There's a big difference between white lies and living a lie.
To pretend and to dodge problems is not the way out.
It will come back to you one day.

" If you love something, let go.
If it comes back, it's yours, if not, it never was."

6 February 2011

All those quotes which helped me through the night:

John Greenleaf Whittier
For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are those 'It might have been.'

Margaret Mitchell
I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived.

Cynthia Nelms
Nobody really cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy
All things appear and disappear because of the concurrence of causes and conditions. Nothing ever exists entirely alone; everything is in relation to everything else.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
The soul that sees beauty may sometimes walk alone.

Martin Luther King Jr.
Every man must do two things alone; he must do his own believing and his own dying
Vincent Van Gogh
One may have a blazing hearth in one's soul, and yet no one ever comes to sit by it.

Mark Twain
Be good and you will be lonely
Nicole Kidman
I refuse to let what happened to me make me bitter. I still completely believe in love and I'm open to anything that will happen to me.

it is what it is, it's not what it should have been, not what it could have been, it is what it is.

Sufi Epigram
When the heart grieves over what it has lost, the spirit rejoices over what it has left.

James M. Barrie
If you have it [love], you don't need to have anything else, and if you don't have it, it doesn't matter much what else you have.

Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes...just be an illusion.

Julie Andrews
All love shifts and changes. I don't know if you can be wholeheartedly in love all the time

Norman Cousins
Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.

Herr Lipp
The absence of love is the most abject pain.

W. M. Lewis
The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.

Winston Churchill
Solitary trees, if they grow at all, grow strong

African Proverb
However long the night, the dawn will break

David Borenstein
Feelings are not supposed to be logical. Dangerous is the man who has rationalized his emotions.

Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew.

It takes a couple seconds to say Hello, but forever to say Goodbye

Moving on is simple, it's what you leave behind that makes it so difficult

I dont miss him, I miss who I thought he was

miss you a little, I guess you could say, a little too much, a little too oftern, and a little more each day.

Never be sad for what is over, just be glad that it was once yours

I’m going to smile and make you think I’m happy, I’m going to laugh, so you don’t see me cry, I’m going to let you go in style, and even if it kills me- I’m going to smile

The greatness comes not when things go always good for you. But the greatness comes when you're really tested, when you take some knocks, some disappointments, when sadness comes. Because only if you've been in the deepest valley can you ever know how magnificent it is to be on the highest mountain.
Richard M. Nixon (1913 - 1994)

To say the truth, reason and love keep little company together now-a-days.
William Shakespeare

Judy Garland
For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Fortune and love favor the brave

5 February 2011

Sky Laterns

I really, really, really wanna do this

And I've decided I wanna be in a room full of butterflies
and I found one

"This exciting exhibit features spectacular butterfly and moth species from across the world. Taking the theme of a tropical rainforest, the undercover walk-through is surrounded by a landscaped nectar garden, immersing you in a butterfly paradise as you wander freely through a colourful array of butterflies, moths and flowers."  Bristol Zoo

3 February 2011

Everything changed the day they figured out there was exactly
enough time for the important things in their lives

Lecko mio, this song is sweeeeeeet!

2 February 2011

If the problem has a solution, worrying is pointless, in the end the problem will be solved. If the problem has no solution, there is no reason to worry, because it can’t be solved."  Zen saying

Gave this to a friend recently, too pretty to hide. 

"If you make a promise, you have to keep it, no matter what"
"Some people believe in God, I believe in music.
Some people pray, I turn up the radio"

1 February 2011

"Love me when I least deserve it,
because that's when I really need it."
- Swedish Prover

No Make-up, just me

A heart of gold but it lost its pride
I see your face in another light
hearts gone cold, your hands were tied
In too deep and out of time
do you ever think of me
you're so considerate