Freudvoll und leidvoll,                      Blissful and tearful,

gedankenvoll sein.                           with thought-teeming brain.

Hangen und bangen                          Hoping and fearing

in schwebender Pein.                        in passionate pain.

Himmelhoch jauchzend,                    Now shouting in triumph,

zum Tode betrübt.                            now sunk in despair.

Glücklich allein die Seele,                 With love's thrilling rapture

die liebt.                                          What joy can compare.

   Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

           (Egmont, 3. Akt)

New Year's Eve. Today. I think this date is being overrated. Everybody's expecting something huge. Hey relax, it's just another party. It's been an exciting but rough year for me though. When I look back, I've learned and done surprisingly a lot. Things that I enjoy. I've worked at a big radiostation, I've travelled to 5 different countries I've never been to before, I've been to tonnes of concerts and seen over 90 bands this year. And all this with hardly any pennies in my pockets. Damn good feeling :D

Next year may come, the year of the tiger, that's me :) this will be MY year guys!

Oh silly boy you better run to me.....

        

                                "Quod me nutrit me destruit"

Manchester, 1976. The first gig of an unknown band called Sex Pistols. Only being attended by 42 random people. And all of those witnesses of that evening in that room would become famous and make history at the end. Sheer madness. Unbelievable, ínsane, legend and I love it.

My friends believe I'm a gypsy. They're maybe right. Some kind I am. Since 3 years. I'm quite a big adventurer at the moment, free like a bird. I just don't really feel like one. The world is my home. Anywhere and nowhere. Have been homeless for quite a while too though. But all this to find and follow my way. I don't regret anything cause paths are made only by walking my dear. I won't lose sight of my aims.

When I'm down it's hard from time to time, sometimes I can't move cause there's so much stuff in me then. But I'm not that kind of person who wallows in self-pity. I try to fight and I'm always up to help others with their problems. But no one can solve problems for someone whose problem is that they don't want problems saved. So argue for your limitations and sure enough they're yours baby!

And in the end here is a test for you to find out if your mission on earth is finished: if you're alive, it isn't. Bye  :)

10 years ago everything began. Smoking, drinking, parties, boys haha :P

It's funny having two dogs at home, watching them playing and to see how they try to catch your attention first. I love animals. You can even hold their paws and sing ' I wanna hold your hand' to them. Great companions.

I don't care a fig  for diamonds and gold. They carry no weight for me. You don't automatically become rich inside or a better person when you have expensive jewellery on your outside. Some people seem to think so. Maybe all the bling bling it's making them blind. I don't know. For me it's just absurd to spend so much money on shallow things, I would know thousand better things what to use the money for. Believe me!

Don't gain the world and lose the soul, wisdom is better than silver and gold!

I'm not really into 80s or 90s music but I've just seen this genius movie about Tony Wilson, Factory records and about how Manchester and his musicians made gigantic music history from the very start of Punkrock till the remains of Rave culture. And this song definitely did his big bit.
Okay okay sorry, I must be fair. Those two songs did.

I've been watching This is England, great movie. There is nothing dumber on earth than Nazis. Actually you could almost feel sorry for them cause the wankers are really stupid as shit. Those brainwashed subjects of hate and hollowness don't have anything better to do than get rat-arsed and blame foreigners for taking them the jobs away. OH MAN, what a lame excuse for being lazy, dissatisfied and feeling too good for the work foreigners do for less money. It's only a reaction of envy. Yes, they do it for less cash cause for them it's still much, they appreciate any work to survive and to feed their families. Wouldn't you do the same?! If you'd live in a poor country below the poverty line or in a war zone,wouldn't you take a chance and move to another country to try your luck , to be safe and to give your family a better standard?! so please FOLLOW YOUR LEADER and shoot yourself. Thanks!

OMG :D
I'm so so crazy about the new record of Endless Hallway, I extra ordered their album from the USA, they really have promise!!! Bombastic and mind-blowing sound. Finally a distinctive band. They've posted me on myspace and wanna come over to Europe soon. I swear I'll be the first to see them hehe!

Oh and I'm grinning about my post I got this morning, a special parcel from England! This mister really made me smile, I love surprises like this, my heart is full of hihis hihi hihihiiii :)

Hi, I wasn't sure about the whole blogging thing. But I got inspired yesterday and my thoughts were stronger and wanted to reveal. So here I am :)
I'm manic depressed , sort of, that means I'm kinda genetically determined sad person with a happy and funny nature. I need and use my songs and writing to describe and to digest my sad side and experiences. Music is my saver.

Ian Curtis died with 23 years, my friend Marc too. I just turned 23 last week. Am I going to die now as well?! I don't know, I'm not planning it , not at the moment, not today. Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans said John Lennon before he was shot dead. I love and admire the Beatles, the forefathers of any modern day band.

I would die for a good thing or for a good friend though. But the trouble is not so much dying for a friend, it is finding a friend worth dying for, you know.

I don't need control, I need love. I try to let things flow. They would do it anyway. So I follow my heart which appears not be as simple as it sounds at all in our mind and money society. This challenges my limits and frustrates me. How far would I go for my personal freedom and fulfillment?!
For my dreams I will go till the end that's for sure. No matter how big and heavy the stones are.

From the stones to the stars! I always try to keep that in mind.

Christmas is over. I've survived. Our tree stayed naked and still got the price tag on it. haha I guess I'm not the only chaotic person in my family....