I've got this picture on my Desktop at the moment.

Makes me feel calm.

Oh Yeah Baby

this song mmmmmmmm

Would love to run through those landscapes right now

"Life is short. Kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly."- Paulo Coelho

This is one of the songs I'm going to perform on Tuesday. Luckily not at 9.00 o'clock in the morning again like last time but around 11am onwards. This is good, very good.



Oh and yeah haha! Dave Grohl left a message for us BIMM students. You can tell he was being forced to do that and he ain't got a clue what BIMM actually is but bless him for doing it anyway :) thanks Dave, you're a truly legend, love you woohoo!

"Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak. Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen."
Winston Churchill

I just need someone who puts his arm supertight around me and says, everything's gonna be fine, I'll take care of it. That would change a lot.

Otherwise, pretty long, very long day. Recording in the studio and rehearsal for my audition was fun though. Love this lifestyle. And funnily enough, as exhausting as it was for me, especially in my condition, I feel "refreshed" by the feeling of having done something productive and things moving forward.


| Artists Wanted | In Focus : Pete Eckert from Artists Wanted on Vimeo.

Pete Eckert is a blind visual artist from California. He uses sound, touch, and memory to create photographs that build a bridge between the blind and sighted world. Fascinating.

GO OUTSIDE

I really want to go outside and make it light all day

I think it's good to go out

cause if you don't you'll never make a memory that will stay



go outside from Keegan Gibbs on Vimeo.

Yeah this song is about going outside. If I have one of those days and I just feel like staying at home and hiding away, I'm always telling myself, hey. Nothing will happen to you if you stay at home. Exactly, you will not make a memory that will stay. If you want something to change, something to see or to experience, you must go outside and live it! It will not come into your room by its own.

"A true friend freely, advises justly, assists readily, adventures boldly, takes all patiently, defends courageously, and continues a friend unchangeably." William Penn

Friendship is one mind in two bodies

U Know what?! Ur the Best Mother fucking Friend on Earth! Really! I Love you with my heart, my Soul, my Body! Can't believe how cute u are! When i Read the post on my Wall i was so pissed, but just a Second later i Read Ur reaction and it really really made me smile! Ur like a mommy Lion who protects its Baby! Thanx 4 that hon!
India's a blast! I'm Feeling so good, so relaxed, so confident. The weather's just amazing, i got a tan already, Met cool People, smoked some bang, drank some chai, ate Great Food with my Hands....enjoying my life. U would Love this whole fuckin' Country! Love u hon! Keep in Touch!

Laura sent me the message this morning from India. Absolutely made my day! Made my heart jump like a Ninja. Love her to bits. She will be travelling the next couple of weeks through India and Nepal and I want to join her. Don't know how but she already said, she wouldn't be surprised if I'd make it. I've been planning to go to India since last year but living in the UK and basically be on the breadline most of the time doesn't make it easy. Let's see. Miracles are called miracles for a reason. And empty pockets never hold me back that easily.

 "When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand."  Henri Nouwen

This week was a little high after this supermassive black hole. Especially today I feel back to life. A step forward. Productive. Miracles. Not like the last three weeks spent in despair. And finally got my keyboard through and wrote a song straight away, maybe that's why. It's called " Not in Love hey! " and I think it's cool. I love the new raw sound and the new single 'White Limo' by the Foo Fighters, but to be honest I can't wait for this one.   

‎"As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn't leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I'd still be in prison." - Nelson Mandela

Yesterday my friend Aga told me the following which made me realise a lot again:
I've spoken to my Yoga teacher recently and I've started to moan a little bit, that I'm often torn, back and forth and I have the feeling not to know where I belong to, who I am, what I am and so on. And she answered totally relaxed:  " but thats wonderful, isn't it. Yin and Yang in a marked form, it's supposed to be like that, only black AND white yield an entity. You shouldn't try to dip everything into grey but consciously experience the extremes, the white in the black and the black in the white. Where is the problem???" Ha, that's so good!

And my friend also reminded me of that:

You have everything what you need. In yourself! Nowhere else.You have everything. It's in you.

"Sometimes it's sad to be an exception,
but it's even sadder to be none. "
Peter Altenberg

STOP!!!!!

I just came across this blog; Jamie I love you for that, your words are supermagical, utterly effective as well as affective. You exactly expressed what I was trying to find. You simply hit the mark, you hit me, you got to the heart of it. I think nobody could have explained it better than you did. no one. ever. 

thanks. no really just thanks.  

Dear Valentine's Day,

My friend Don wrote a blog about you today and his blog suggests that you used to look a lot different than you do today. He says that you are the product of a poet and that before this poet's pen, you were not a romantic holiday.

i think i would have liked you more back then, whenever that was. The truth is that you really bother me now. i think you bother a lot of people, honestly. i'm not sure how you got so much power. You show up every year right after Christmas. You turn the windows pink and you sell your diamonds on the radio and i think i've gotten five emails from 1-800-FLOWERS in the last three days.

Don't get me wrong. It's not that i don't like love. i love love - i think it's the best thing that happens on the planet. It's the biggest dream inside me. But i bought a lie somewhere along the way. i bought the lie that says i'm not alive if i'm not in love. i bought the lie that says if i love someone but then they stop loving me or they start loving someone else, then i must have no value or power or worth. i bought the lie that says if i'm not in love, then i'm as good as dead.

And if you believe that lie long enough, it makes a giant hole. It makes a hole so big that no one person could ever begin to fill it. Not even a princess. Believe me, i've tried. To fill it with a person, to fill it with beauty, to fill it with all the things you sell.

But i don't think it works that way. Bono says his songs come from a God-shaped hole inside of him. He's my favorite singer and he has a lot of things. He has great stories and a wife and kids and plenty of money. But in spite of all of those things, he says he still has this hole and he says that it's the reason that he sings.

i've been thinking lately that maybe i've confused a girl for God, a different one every year or two, since the first day of junior high. And man, that is a lot of pressure to put on someone, to make them God. That is a ton of power to hand to someone. Especially when they're just a person. A person with questions and flaws and pain of their own.

So maybe there's a war, inside of me and for me and maybe my heart is the opposite of small. Maybe it's the opposite of cheap and empty and alone. Maybe it's sacred and enormous and wild.

To make a long story short, i think i've given you way too much power. i let you scare me and i let you name me and i let you tell me what i'm worth.

i don't want to do that anymore.

There are dreams inside of me and those are mine and my guess is that they're there for a reason. But for all the days like now where the dreams are asked to be only dreams, i'm gonna keep getting out of bed. i'm gonna keep living my story. i'm gonna believe that there is reason and purpose, and power in my life. i'm gonna believe that i'm alive inside a story bigger than my pain, bigger than everything missing.

It crossed my mind to try to ignore you, to try to go to bed early and wake up when you're gone. But i changed my mind. i am part of a gang in Florida and we're gonna get together tonight. We're going to open our computers and we're going to choose to believe that words are powerful. We're gonna do our best to tell someone something true. We're gonna ask people not to give up on their stories.

Valentine's Day, i don't hate you. i don't even blame you. Perhaps you did not name yourself. Perhaps you are the product of hundreds of years, hundreds of thousands of broken people and a million God-shaped holes.

The truth is that we're all living love stories.

Peace to you tonight.
jamie

Even
after
all this time
the sun never says to the earth,

“You owe me.”

Look
what happens
with a love like that–

it lights
the whole world.

– Hafiz

I'm gonna have one of these gypsy wagons, I will.

Keyboard vs. Food

Keyboard of course!! Finally! Well £5 left till the 23rd but at least I can practise Sight Reading and Theory properly and writing new songs now, WIN!  

Finding yourself weighing the pursuit of your heart's desire against the cost of fulfilling it.YeP, exactly!

explored I have a Gemini ascendent and this explains it:  

 You spend lots of time asking questions and… answering them. Your curiosity and your quick-wittedness are insatiable. Your mind is in constant turmoil, hopping from one topic to another, solving problems, accumulating anecdotes and knowledge within a short range of time. Your mobility is mostly mental, it takes you afar and turns your daily life into a mosaic of intense and pleasant moments that are not necessarily related to each other.

Fix me

I can't describe what the sun is doing to me. Pure magic.

It's like therapy.

Believing is everything

everything is believing

but why on earth is it sometimes so hard to do it

trust

trust
trust

and how can you know the moon is still there if you don't look at it?

and why has nobody been to the moon since 1972?

Yesterday I was in so much pain,

I really considered to go to the A&E.

but today I feel 'better'

"Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you help them become what they are capable of becoming."
– Johann Wolfgang von Goethe




Well what can I say, been to the hospital today and they put me off till next week. again.
I just want it to be over, really really really.
but hold on, there was actually one good thing to remember. As I was running late and calling the hospital, I was put on the waiting line surprisingly with some lovely Beatles songs for 5 minutes. I enjoyed that.

Those who wish to sing, always find a song.

Swedish Proverb

yeP those songs are where it's at for today
a somebody should find oneself singing it to me

Light & Dark by Bo Aganaba
Words And A Melody by Bo Aganaba
Remember (with Ty Sander) by Bo Aganaba

Did you know when an infant does not get any body warmth, if it stays untouched for too long, it dies due to the lack of love?
I sometimes feel like one.
breathe me.

HOLY SHIT!
You NEED to watch Zeitgeist
it's mind-blowing, sick, shocking, scary and genius
it tells the bald truth (and answers your questions) about life, society, economy and humanity
don't miss it


Dream with all your heart

Never loose sight of what is really important

but fairy tales can't come true

YOU gotta make them happen, it all depends on you
Learning from Disney Movies

and this is rather cool!

Healing begins with honesty. And you haven't been honest to me.

There's a big difference between white lies and living a lie.

To pretend and to dodge problems is not the way out.

It will come back to you one day.

" If you love something, let go.

If it comes back, it's yours, if not, it never was."

All those quotes which helped me through the night:

John Greenleaf Whittier
For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are those 'It might have been.'

Margaret Mitchell
I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived.

Cynthia Nelms
Nobody really cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy
 
Buddha
All things appear and disappear because of the concurrence of causes and conditions. Nothing ever exists entirely alone; everything is in relation to everything else.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
The soul that sees beauty may sometimes walk alone.

Martin Luther King Jr.
Every man must do two things alone; he must do his own believing and his own dying
 
Vincent Van Gogh
One may have a blazing hearth in one's soul, and yet no one ever comes to sit by it.

Mark Twain
Be good and you will be lonely
 
Nicole Kidman
I refuse to let what happened to me make me bitter. I still completely believe in love and I'm open to anything that will happen to me.

it is what it is, it's not what it should have been, not what it could have been, it is what it is.

Sufi Epigram
When the heart grieves over what it has lost, the spirit rejoices over what it has left.

James M. Barrie
If you have it [love], you don't need to have anything else, and if you don't have it, it doesn't matter much what else you have.

Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes...just be an illusion.

Julie Andrews
All love shifts and changes. I don't know if you can be wholeheartedly in love all the time

Norman Cousins
Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.

Herr Lipp
The absence of love is the most abject pain.

W. M. Lewis
The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.

Winston Churchill
Solitary trees, if they grow at all, grow strong

African Proverb
However long the night, the dawn will break

David Borenstein
Feelings are not supposed to be logical. Dangerous is the man who has rationalized his emotions.

Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew.


It takes a couple seconds to say Hello, but forever to say Goodbye


Moving on is simple, it's what you leave behind that makes it so difficult

I dont miss him, I miss who I thought he was

miss you a little, I guess you could say, a little too much, a little too oftern, and a little more each day.

Never be sad for what is over, just be glad that it was once yours


I’m going to smile and make you think I’m happy, I’m going to laugh, so you don’t see me cry, I’m going to let you go in style, and even if it kills me- I’m going to smile


The greatness comes not when things go always good for you. But the greatness comes when you're really tested, when you take some knocks, some disappointments, when sadness comes. Because only if you've been in the deepest valley can you ever know how magnificent it is to be on the highest mountain.
Richard M. Nixon (1913 - 1994)

To say the truth, reason and love keep little company together now-a-days.
William Shakespeare

Judy Garland
For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Ovid
Fortune and love favor the brave

Sky Laterns

I really, really, really wanna do this

And I've decided I wanna be in a room full of butterflies

and I found one

"This exciting exhibit features spectacular butterfly and moth species from across the world. Taking the theme of a tropical rainforest, the undercover walk-through is surrounded by a landscaped nectar garden, immersing you in a butterfly paradise as you wander freely through a colourful array of butterflies, moths and flowers."  Bristol Zoo

Everything changed the day they figured out there was exactly

enough time for the important things in their lives

Lecko mio, this song is sweeeeeeet!

If the problem has a solution, worrying is pointless, in the end the problem will be solved. If the problem has no solution, there is no reason to worry, because it can’t be solved."  Zen saying

Gave this to a friend recently, too pretty to hide. 

"If you make a promise, you have to keep it, no matter what"

"Some people believe in God, I believe in music.

Some people pray, I turn up the radio"

"Love me when I least deserve it,

because that's when I really need it."

- Swedish Prover

No Make-up, just me

A heart of gold but it lost its pride

I see your face in another light

hearts gone cold, your hands were tied

In too deep and out of time

do you ever think of me

you're so considerate

?

why are you leaving me in the lurch

a friend in need is a friend indeed

I don't wanna believe to be wrong about you

Us vocalists had to lead our Artist Development lesson today and teach all musicians about singing, techniques and stuff. Later on we were splitted up in groups and had to perform an acapella version of any song of choice. Ha! We've chosen The Passenger by Iggy Pop, such a legend. It was quite chaotic, difficult to teach non-singers to sing, but well -done to the others for doing it anyway.   

I tried getting into hospital today, but they won't let me. Need to wait, time I don't have. Maybe you need to die first before anybody understands the grave situation. Thanks anyway for the support Gulli, at least someone I can count on.
People say I must have a very happy life, I always smile at everybody. First at all this should be everybody doing, isn't it just a nice feeling when you talk to somebody and the person is smiling at you? I think it makes a person winsome. And secondly I wish it was true. I'm trying but it's not working out at the moment. I'm letting you know though, every smile is true, I'm not faking it. I'm just not that kind of person who needs to pull an anguished face to get attention and sympathy from others. There is no need for everybody to know about my problems but it doesn't mean you know more about life than me.
I found my cousin today! Haven't seen him since centuries but couldn't stop thinking of him through all the years, he was like disappeared. But the other day my mum gave me a call and said he lives in the UK, just the night after I was dreaming of him. And today I could get hold of him, texted him and he texted me back. We're gonna meet up as soon as possible. So excited, can't tell.

 Come alive.

For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again. Benjamin Button.  

___________________________ 

SOUND!

Had a vocal course with Massive Attack singer Sarah Jay yesterday,

woop woop!

Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing

are the same thing

Time to let go 

"The King is the man who can" 

Keith Richards

Yesyesyes! I was performing Black Night by Deep Purple yesterday on stage in my Live Performance Workshop at Metropolis and got 5 of 6 Distinctions!! Yeah baby, it was banging! Well chuffed about that one hehe. Although I never really listened to Deep Purple before, I simply was in my element. Rocking the stage.      

Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in

[ American Beauty ]

Sex Appeal

And today Betty died. It's a big loss but it's the circle of life. She was a hard-working woman with a big heart and a bigger knowledge but sometimes she didn't know better. Thank you for all the things you've done for us, rest in peace.  

Andy Warhole

My uncle died today. Even if he might have not been the best guy,

I wish him all the best.

Since we had to write a song in PJ Harvey Style in Songwriting, 

I listen to her again. She gives me strength.

Grace Jones

  

Today I had my masterclass with Chris Morrison, the manager of Thin Lizzy, Blur, Gorillaz, Grace Jones,  Pete and the Pirates and so on. Told us a lot of inside information which was really amusing, instructive and revealing as always. He's been working 45 years as a manager in the music business. He's the man. 

   

Brilliant!



"What are the differences between Mark Zuckerberg and me? I give private information on corporations to you for free, and I'm a villain.
Zuckerberg gives your private information to corporations for money and he's Man of the Year." Julian Assange.



Make it better from Sebastianbap on Vimeo.

Happiness does not depend on outward things

but on the way we see them.

 Leo Tolstoy

Life is not having and getting, but being and becoming.

Mathew Arnold

When I hear music, I fear no danger. I am invulnerable. I see no foe. I am related to the earliest times and to the lastest-                           Henry David Thoreau

this song is about a loved one fighting cancer

I play this song on repeat

makes me feel less alone

This was like 10 years ago

Legend

Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could, some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in, forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day, you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense - Ralph Waldo Emerson

About time for some harder tunes guys!

 

To strive, to seek, to find

and not to yield 

So the question becomes and should be all along, what would you do if you knew you had only 1 day or 1 week or 1 month to live. What life boat would you grab onto? What secret would you tell, what person would you declare your love to? What wish would you fulfill, what exact local would you fly to for coffee?

and What book would you write?

You can swim all day in the sea of knowledge and still come out completely dry. Most people do. ~Norman Juster

In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity- Albert Einstein

The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt. ~Bertrand Russell

Hmmmmmmmmmm.
I don't know.

Feeling weird.

So much to think about

and planning ahead.

I've got straight goals

but I'm a spontaneous spirit.

On the other hand

you kinda need to get prepared sometimes

because Denzel says luck is when a opportunity

comes along and you prepared for it.

Music is the healer.

Amen.

woy yoy yoy, woy yoy-yoy yoy


quaint lyrics

The idea is to die young as late as possible.  ~Ashley Montagu

I shall not die of a cold. I shall die of having lived. ~Willa Cather

The fear of death follows from the fear of life.  A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.  ~Mark Twain

One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it's worth watching.

perspectives through water drops, taken from my window

hopelandic
a made-up language, created by band Sigur Rós , which the sound of the word is a meaning and a story to each individual, thinking only in sighs of emotions

and I need this camera. end of line.   



Dunes from Nick Campbell on Vimeo.

Pictures from hiking last year in February at 1300m height in the bavarian forest  

 Snow flakes

Bench

 Frozen

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
“— Douglas Adams

BOB

possibly the coolest name ever

and I was sitting on him while having a ride on the merry-go-round

"No sleeping. Wise thoughts thinking....lots of lots of quite a lot. Writing them down and sorting by priorities, effects, causes, reasons, backgrounds, consequences, values, feasibility, reality and illusion"- my friend Agnes Lazar

and this photo makes me laugh so much!

HIS face and my mouth full of bread and ketchup!

I discovered this unexpected picture in the bus back home and couldn't stop laughing.

hahahhahahhahahahhaha 

I forgot to write about some other important things happened back in old scotland, like putting the phone in a plastic bag and throwing it on the roof to get signal is one of them. Or water flashing down from the light bulb. Or eating haggis for the first time, the traditional scottish meal. Or me wasted thing passing out on a tree after climbing it and waking up after letting my phone fall or was it my camera?

What I know for sure though, this video is pretty damn cool!

“And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it.” -Roald Dahl

Scotland was fantastic. Not only the New Year's Eve party. No. My time on the farm was overwhelming. All those ideas of nature and adventure. Hitchhiking your way through because there is nothing in between. This is where I see myself in the future. After my career. Be self supporter. Having your own build wooden hut, your own vegetables, your own animals, your own land. Look at the pictures and you will understand what I'm talking about.